Traveling Adventures

First off a disclaimer: this will be a long post.  If you actually read the whole thing, kudos to you!  I will give you a cookie!

Okay, you really don’t get a cookie, but still, good for you for sticking it out!

Well, we did it.  I am not quite sure how we managed it, but somehow we survived our first trip to visit family with both kids.  Amazingly, it went incredibly smoothly.  I just have to take this moment to say that my children are incredible.  Frog Face slept most of the way down and back (about an 8 hour drive each way) and Goober played with toys and watched movies on the little dvd player (an absolute must if you are traveling with children).  A few melt downs here and there, but nowhere near what I was expecting!  And then once we got there, we faced messed up schedules, dozens of new faces and new places, extra hours being cooped up in a crowded car, and still hardly a complaint.  We received so many comments about how well Frog Face behaved and Avery was just a joy and after taking about 5-10 minutes to warm up, she was playing with family and generally being her adorable self.

Goober playing with Comp Geek

Goober snuggling with Barbie

So here is a recap on our trip and some tips to traveling with children.  One of my dearest friends from middle school through high school was getting married and I was a bridesmaid (or brides matron I suppose, since I am definitely not a maid anymore) so this trip was to participate in her special day.  While this was our first trip with two kids, we have traveled many times with Goober so we are experienced long-distance car riders. 

First our schedule:

Thursday: 4:30pm leave for MO

1:30am – arrive at destination

3:00am – finally get both kids to bed after being wound up at a new place

Friday: 8:00am – wake up

10:15am – leave to go meet my brother and new nephew

11:00am – arrive at brothers

12:30pm – leave brothers

1:00pm – arrive at parent’s house

2:00pm – attempt to get Goober down for a nap

4:00pm – Goober does not take a nap, but mommy, daddy, and Frog Face nap instead

4:30pm – drive back to Barbie’s house (Barbie is the Weatherman’s sister where we crashed during the trip) to drop off Goober

5:00pm – leave to go to wedding rehearsal

7:00pm – Wedding rehearsal

8:30pm – Rehearsal dinner

9:30pm – leave and drive back to Barbie’s house

12:00am – finally get kids to bed and get to bed ourselves

Saturday: 7:30am wake up

8:30am – drive to my parent’s house to drop off Goober

9:15am – arrive at parents

9:45am – leave for wedding

10:30am – arrive at hair dresser to get hair done

12:30pm – hair finally done and head to chapel

1:00pm – pictures

2:00pm – ceremony

2:30pm – more pictures

3:00pm – head to reception hall to set up

4:30pm – reception starts

8:15pm – head out to get Goober

9:30pm – head to Barbie’s house

12:00pm – finally get the kids to bed

Sunday: 8:30am wake up

10:30am – finally leave Barbie’s house after getting kids up, dressed, and car packed

11:15am – arrive at the Weatherman’s family for a Thanksgiving brunch

2:15pm – finally leave for home

11:00pm – arrive back at home

12:30am – finally get kids to bed

1:00am – finally crash ourselves

It was so crazy, especially since the wedding took up most of the time and this was our first trip back with Frog Face so everyone wanted to meet him.  What follows are some random incidents, tips, and words of wisdom from our trip.

No matter how I trim our packing list, we always end up cramming our Pontiac vibe to the max!  We even left a lot of items behind that we normally would have brought (such as the pack-n-play) in the spirit of saving space.  Our packing for the trip looked something like this: one suitcase for each child, half a suitcase for me, half a suitcase for the Weatherman, and then three extra bags per child for toys, food, blankets, etc.  Children come with lots of stuff! Next time we will bring less snacks from home and maybe pick up some cheap snacks along the way since we might have gone a bit overboard and had two large bags of food.  No idea how we are going to fit presents in that car when we head back in a couple weeks for Christmas.  Maybe we can tie a child to the top of the car… (okay, not really).  The Weatherman is still in denial that we will soon become a mini-van family, but this past trip almost had him convinced.

I win worst mother of the year award for taking my almost-five-month-old out in freezing weather without socks.  We are not even five minutes down the road before Frog Face pulled both socks off and was playing with is bare toes.  I lost count of how many times I tried to put the socks back on, but that little turd was persistent!  I eventually gave up and just wrapped him up well in a blanket whenever we left the car. Next trip: footy pajama’s!

So about two hours down the road we stopped for dinner at Wendy’s.  If you are planning a long car ride with kids in the next couple weeks, I suggest avoiding Wendy’s.  Or at least avoid the kids menu at Wendy’s.  Goober was thrilled to receive a plastic toy recorder/flute in her kid’s meal.  For the next four hours until she finally fell asleep, we had to listen to Goober tooting shrilly on what she called her “toy”.  Thankfully, Frog Face slept through it all.

And speaking of toys in the car, I packed a ton of stuff for Goober to play with that was travel appropriate (magna doodle, drawing case with coloring books and crayons, books, little dvd player, way too many dvd’s) but really all I needed was a flashlight for her to play with when it got dark, and the little dvd player.  Thank the Lord for that little dvd player and the fact that she now has a longer attention span!  However, we did somehow manage to lose one dvd and the case of another dvd (which happened to come from the libarary…opps).

This was our first trip with Goober potty trained.  It wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be.  We stopped every 3 hours or so and made her go potty and she was really good about it.  There was only one time that we heard the dreaded “I need to go potty!” and thankfully we were relatively close to a gas station. 

I was super confident nursing in public during this trip, however I did discover that Frog Face is not a fan of the nursing cover.  Or to be more accurate, he liked it too much and wanted to play with it instead of actually nursing and kept whipping it around so that I tended to flash random people in the restaurant.  But since I was super confident, I didn’t really care that much. 

During the actual rehearsal and wedding, Goober stayed and played with grandparents and Frog Face went with his handler (aka the Weatherman) so that I could focus on wedding stuff and just feed the child when he got hungry.  The little man did amazing!  We received so many comments about how well behaved he was, and honestly, I was super impressed myself!  I am blessed to have such a happy, mellow little man who would go from place to place, person to person, being rudely woken up from naps, but would just smile and squeal happily the entire time.  When Goober was little, she would never have done that well.  But the Lord must have known we needed a break, since Goober is still such a handful!

Happily going from one person to another

Aunt Barbie

Auntie A. 

Uncle Comp Geek

Sleeping arrangements were pretty simple: the Weatherman got booted to the couch and I slept with both kids in the bigger bed.  Both kids slept great, mommy slept poorly, and Frog Face has had a bit of trouble transitioning back to his crib now that we are home.  But since he only sleeps in his crib half the night anyways, it could be worse.

I got the tiny sliver of bed between the two

The wedding was amazing, beautiful, and simple.  It was also freaking cold.  And I chose a spaghetti strap dress and black dressy sandals.  The pictures outside were especially cold.  I am not ashamed to admit I snuggled next to some random groomsmen who had nice warm suits for warmth.  One of the things I loved most about the decorations was my bouquet was made of origami flowers.  It was so simple, elegant, and original that I immediately fell in love with it.  However, my cats also love the feathers that are on it.  Thankfully I rescued it from their greedy paws before too much damage was done. 

Gorgeous origami flowers

The Bride and I

My dates for the night

The bride and groom

After the wedding when I went to pick up Goober from the grandparents, she saw my styled hair and dress and asked “Is mommy a princess?”.  My heart melted.

 Speaking of styled hair: It was nice to get my hair all fancy in an updo for the wedding, but I have been losing hair like crazy lately (another fun side effect of having a baby) and was afraid that having my hair done and then washing out all the product afterwards would leave me bald.  I am happy to report I am not bald.  Yet. 

I love the Weatherman’s family and truly believe they are amazing people.  But what is up with the toilet paper?  Whenever we stay at his parent’s house, they always seem to store the toilet paper somewhere strange like the hall closet.  This time we were staying with his sister and she said “I bought toilet paper but don’t remember where I put it.”  Good thing they had multiple bathrooms we could steal rolls from.

We did not kill the fish!  I was worried about Goober’s birthday fish while we were gone. We gave it one of those food things that they can chew off of for a couple days, but we did turn the air down and it is a tropical fish so I worried about it getting too cold.  Thankfully he was still alive (a bit sluggish due to cold) and is still swimming!

All in all it was a fast trip, but it could have gone a lot worse.  As I was unpacking all our stuff the other night after we finally got the kids to bed (getting them back on a normal schedule has been fun!  I felt bad for their daycare teachers on Monday, although apparently they both took good naps) I kept asking myself “what’s the point? We are heading back to see family in just a short 27 days”. 

I can’t believe we are doing this again in 27 days.

Now to enjoy my four-day weekend and veg with the kids.  We got a free pass to the YMCA that expires Friday so we might take them swimming one last time.  We will also dig out the Christmas decorations and make our house festive.  And eat a lot. 

Happy holidays!

Cousin play date!

We're Just the Same

I have a tendency to compare myself to others.  I know, I know, it is a horrible habit, but one which I can’t seem to help.  I see Facebook posts, pictures, and other blogs and think to myself: “Wow!  That person really has it all together!” as I am frantically running around the house tripping over bags and clothing and watching the dirty dishes pile up higher and higher in the sink.  The Weatherman often has to remind me that people tend to put their best-face-forward on social media, so we never see the nitty gritty in the background.  I know this is true, but it still something that is hard for me to grasp.  Clean houses, nice furniture, carefully arranged center pieces and not a toy in sight.  This does not describe my household.  I try to keep the toys contained, and we try to stay on top of the cleaning and laundry, but when you add in two full-time jobs and two children, that doesn’t always happen.  I also don’t think it helps that the Weatherman is a hoarder and we have at least 15 boxes of random stuff piled in the family room waiting to be sorted. Or that his papers and text books have slowly consumed his large desk and run over onto our end table, an ottoman, and now onto the floor. 

But I digress…

I am learning to accept that I will never have a magazine-picturesque house.  And that is okay.  I am also learning that everyone struggles, even if they hide it where others can’t see.  Maybe that person with the nice car and cool new gadgets and matching furniture is swimming in a sea of loans and credit card debt.  Maybe that mother with the styled hair and designer clothing who actually looks like she had a shower is secretly tormented inside because she is constantly trying to live up to the image of the “perfect” mother that society says we need to be. 

I have a dear friend at church who I admire for always telling it like it is.  She is not afraid to speak her mind and say “yeah, this sucks right now, but I know God will make it better”.  I love that about her!  Whether it is a messy house, kids (she has 4!) causing trouble, or other general issues, she helps me realize that my life really is normal.

So in case any of you other parents who read this are under the false impression that I actually know what I am doing, let me set you straight: 

·         I feed my child pb&j more often than I should because it is a quick and easy meal (but at least I use whole wheat bread!)

·         Sometimes I wear the same jeans several days in a row as long as there are no visible stains and they don’t smell bad

·         Our bedroom has a dirty laundry “pile” instead of a hamper.  I literally have to kick myself a path to bed every night so I don’t trip over it when Frog Face wakes me up

·         Sometimes my poor cats run out of clean water and I don’t fill it up because I know they drink out of the leaky bath tub faucet anyways

·         My bathtub faucet leaks

·         We “recycle” plastic and aluminum cans, but we let the bags of recycling pile up in the garage until we have to suck in our bellies to go around it and get to the cars

·         TV is a staple in our house (and was for me as well growing up) and as long as Goober is watching relatively decent movies or educational shows, I really don’t care how much she watches if it means she will sit still for a bit so I can change her brother’s diaper

·         I occasionally bribe my daughter with candy

·         I have been known to sneak candy into another room so Goober does not catch me eating it so I don’t have to share with her

·         Our weed-whacker broke last year and we have not trimmed our yard all summer. 

·         I have a bird feeder outside our house, but I haven’t actually filled it up because I always forget.

·         I often long for the kid’s bedtimes just so I can curl up on the couch with my computer and facebook and a tub of chocolate frosting

·         I watch toddlers and tiara’s and I am secretly fascinated by it despite the fact I would NEVER let my daughter do it.

·         Even though I know I am thin, I am still very self-conscience of my body image, especially since my hair is still falling out and my belly is still flabby from pregnancy

·         I have an intense, debilitating, fear of vomit, as unreasonable as that sounds, which I am currently trying to overcome so I can be more present for my kids when they get sick.

I also have a tendency to think of other mom’s as being more knowledgeable or more experienced than myself.  It was only when I had Frog Face that I began to realize that maybe other new moms viewed me as the one with more experience.  Or at least as their equal.  When I took Goober to the pediatrician for a rash she had developed (hello staph infection!) there was another mom there with an 18-month-old and a 2-month-old.  Frog Face was still at daycare so I just had Goober.  But I watched as the other mom bounced her crying baby and tried to give it a bottle to calm it down while casting furtive glances at the other parents in the room while the 18 month old ran from place to place.  I automatically jumped to my assumption that she was a better mom than me and that she knew exactly what she was doing.  But looking at her frazzled appearance and nervous demeanor I began to realize that maybe she was viewing me the same way I was viewing her: as more experienced and calm and collected.  So I smiled to myself as she finally offered her baby her breast and she calmed right down.  I remember my hesitation of nursing in public too.  I played with my Goober and entertained her 18-month-old daughter so she could have a break.  We chatted and connected, and I think we both realized that we were equals: neither any better nor more knowledgeable about this whole parenting thing. 

Everyone has some dirty little secrets that they shove into the closet so others don’t notice.  It is instinctual and how we present ourselves to others.  This is similar to how if animals are injured, they will try to hide it so they do not appear weak or an easy target for predators.  And I don’t know how many blogs, posts, and letters I have read saying the same thing and never believe it: I am just like you. 

No, really.  I am just like you. 

I may be a working mom who appears professional and organized and like I know what I am doing, but like every other mother out there, working at the office or working at home raising children, most of the time I am just winging it with a hope and a lot of prayer and begging the Lord that somewhere along the way I am doing something “right” (whatever that means) and that I don’t screw these little lives up too much.  And by sharing our stories, we can laugh and learn a lot from each other and truly realize we aren’t that different at all.

Frog Face sitting in his high chair for the first time.  We aren't starting solids yet, but he loves to sit at the table with us!

20 weeks already!

My lil' turkey!

I Sit On Your Lap!

So unfortunately I have not been able to update my blog as often as I would like.  Originally my goal was two posts a week, but it looks like I am probably going to have to stick with one post a week.  Things have been crazy!  With Goober’s birthday party, Halloween, and then both kids getting sick, it has been none stop running for weeks now!  Just when we thought we were falling into a pattern and things were going kinda hunky-dory, Goober regresses back into a tantrum jealousy phase and the evenings after work have suddenly become more complicated.  Cries of “hold me mommy!” and “Put Frog Face down!” quickly escalate into full on screaming and crying.  Not to mention Goober has started to really test her boundaries lately which has caused for some discipline issues at home and at daycare. 

So because of recent events, I will save the topic I was originally going to write about (my Baby Wives) for another day and instead discuss something every parent has to deal with: discipline.  And for those with multiple kids, the jealousy issue is also a big deal.  

Because of the controversial nature of discipline, I am not going to go into a lot of detail about our methods.  I was raised in a family that gave spankings and I do believe spankings can be effective if used correctly.  Fortunately, Goober is a sensitive child and we can usually get our point across without having to resort to spanking, and when we do, a firm pat on the butt is usually sufficient.  Usually just knowing that we are disappointed in her is enough of a punishment, and we do use time-out as the next step if needed.  Daycare also uses time-out, so it helps if we are consistent with her care givers.

Ultimately, we try to encourage and praise good behavior.  Just like with training an animal, you don’t want to use negative associations, but rewarding good behavior makes the animal have a tendency to do the appropriate behavior again.  For the most part this works well.  However, lately, Goober has been toeing the line and pushing the boundaries and trying to figure out just how much she can get away with.

For instance, she does not like to go to bed and has become the master at stalling.  Last weekend, when Frog Face came down with the dreaded stomach bug, I spent most of the day snuggling and holding my sick little boy.  Goober did not appreciate all the attention that he was getting and did not understand that when a child is sick, they need their mom even more.  Goober’s bedtime routine consists of lying in bed with the Weatherman and watching some movies on the Ipad.  Then after 15-20 minutes I come in and get her and we go potty and brush our teeth.  Then it is back to bed for a story with mommy and lights out. 

Well on this particular night, she decided she didn’t want to brush her teeth.  My explanation about the importance of good oral hygiene was obviously not getting through her three-year-old overly-tired mind.  So she did what any typical preschooler might do when she is forced to do something she doesn’t want to: clamp her jaws shut and stubbornly refuse to cooperate.  So I held her in my lap and pried her mouth open and brushed her teeth for her.  I was not rough or overly forceful, but I let her know that she WAS going to brush her teeth.  End. Of. Discussion.  As with training an animal, consistency and sticking to your guns is going to get you farther than giving in to a whiney child.  Children and animals both need boundaries and structure and to know that when you say something, you mean it, and you WILL follow through.  Goober is old enough now to realize her actions have consequences so on days she misbehaves at daycare she does not get any treats/candy/dessert/etc. for the evening.  And since she has a sweet tooth like her mommy, this seems to be working pretty well.  She also is a very picky eater, so if she doesn’t finish her dinner, then she doesn’t get dessert, which happens quite often unfortunately.

When Frog Face first came along, I knew that there would be jealousy issues.  Goober has always been a momma’s girl and loves to have my undivided attention.  This is probably a lot of my doing because after being married 8 years, I was beyond thrilled to have a child (and I so badly wanted a girl!) and might have doted on her a bit.  But whatever the case, there has been some jealousy in regards to mommy’s attention.  Goober loves her little brother and has thankfully never shown any aggression toward him and mostly displays her displeasure in other ways such as throwing a tantrum.  Unfortunately Frog Face has also turned into a momma’s boy.  This makes the evenings interesting when both have missed me during the day.  The Weatherman tries to help, but both kids will start screaming and crying for mommy and want mommy’s undivided attention.  When I hold Goober, Frog Face gets upset, when I hold Frog Face, Goober starts screaming.  And while Frog Face is content to share my lap with his sister, Goober wants the lap all to herself. 

Goober had these jealousy issues for the first few weeks, but things had been going better until about three weeks ago when they came back in full force!  I try my hardest to give each child undivided, individualized attention since I know that is what they both desperately need, but it is so hard when we get home from daycare at 5:30 and Frog Face is usually tired and ready for bed by 6:30 and we try to have Goober in bed by 8:30.  For that hour before Frog Face goes to bed, I am frantically trying to make dinner and feed Goober.  By the time we actually get Frog Face to sleep it is closer to 7:00 and then it is time to start Goober’s bedtime routine so she will actually fall asleep by 8:30.  And let’s not even mention how busy things get on bath nights!  Also, I have been working a lot of weekends lately and have to work again this coming weekend so it is that much less time I have to spend with the kids. 

Ultimately I know it will just take time.  Having Goober’s birthday, the holidays, and the time change has thrown us all off.  Getting back into a schedule and making sure the kids are in bed at a decent time will help to correct a lot of the problems.  I work again this weekend, then have one weekend off, then the weekend of the 23^rd we have a trip planned to visit family back in our home state for my best friend’s wedding (did I mention that we live 8 hours away from all of our family?  We haven’t been back to visit since December of last year!).  But after that things should slow down for a bit (hopefully).  I am looking forward to Thanksgiving break since I will have Thanksgiving Thursday and the following Friday off (hello four day weekend!) so we will hopefully be able to give the kids some much needed individualized attention.  We are also going to institute a weekly movie night with Goober now.  This Saturday after Frog Face goes to bed we are going to let her stay up late and snuggle with her on a couch with a blanket, popcorn, juice, and a (short) movie.  I think this will be a great time to put all the busyness aside and just focus on loving on our child.

We knew that going from 1 to 2 children would be difficult, and boy were we right!  But you know what?  It is so worth it.  Even when Goober is screaming and saying “hold me mommy!” and Frog Face is squealing his little piggy squeal of dissatisfaction, I try to count my blessings and remember: this too shall pass all too quickly.     

When Frog Face caught a stomach bug, this is how I slept to keep him comfortable.  Neko was a lot of help

Goober playing at the new nature play space at the library

Cinderella and Superman say "Happy Halloween"