The Love/Hate of Daycare

So I would say I definitely have a love/hate relationship with daycare.  I was raised by a wonderful stay at home mom (sahm) so that was all I had ever known.  I have come to the conclusion that I am a great mom, but would make a terrible sahm.  I go stir crazy and long for adult interaction.  I love my children but also need to feel like I am doing something else too.  I get frustrated when I am trying to do something like clean the house or cook dinner and I am constantly interrupted by diapers and crying and calls of “mommy!”   I have nothing but admiration for sahm’s because their job is incredibly hard.  I just knew it wasn't for me.

When I was pregnant with Goober, I struggled with the thought that she would have to go to daycare.  I was worried about her bonding with her care givers and wanting them more than me.  I was worried about missing all the important “firsts”.  I didn't know how breast feeding would go and if she would take the breast at home.  I felt guilt over the thought of paying someone else to raise my child for me. 

Now that we are three years into daycare and have #2 in daycare as well, I realize that although those fears were well grounded, they also did not prove to be true.   It was still hard to leave my not-so-little 10-week-old Frog Face when I first went back to work, but I had done it once before so the process wasn't new to me. 

I definitely have a love/hate relationship with daycare.

I love the fact that Goober has developed social skills and has lots of little friends.  She has had multiple play dates with them outside of “school” and loves spending time with them every day.

I love that when I was on maternity leave with Frog Face I had daycare as an option for Goober.  I was able to spend quality time with Frog Face when he needed it most and Goober was in a familiar place on a regular schedule, providing some much needed stability in those crazy first few weeks. 

I love that when the Weatherman or I are sick during the week and the kids are healthy, that we can put them in daycare so we can recover.  We don’t have any family around here and most of our friends have new babies as well, so for the most part we are on our own with very little help.  This past Monday I had a stomach bug so we put the kids in daycare and I was able to sleep and rest up. 

I love that on some days, like tomorrow for Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday, Presidents Day, and the Friday after Thanksgiving, daycare is open but I am off work.  I have to pay for the day anyways so we always have the option of putting the kids in daycare if needed.  Most of the time we opt for keeping them home (my belief is why have kids if you just want to put them in daycare all the time even if you don’t have to?) but sometimes it has been nice to put them in for half a day so we can get some things done kid-free.  Tomorrow for instance I am going to keep them both home with me in the morning, then put them in daycare for the afternoon (during nap time) so that I can get some shopping done and enjoy some much needed “me time”.

I love that the care givers at the daycare the kids go to really actually care about the kids.  It’s not just a job to them but something they are really passionate about.  This is really important to look for when finding the right daycare for you and your children.

I love that daycare fixes healthy meals and snacks for them, limits tv time, gets them on a routine, establishes good habits like picking up toys, washing hands, brushing teeth, etc. 

I hate though that we don’t have a lot of options for daycare in the smallish town we live in.  The daycare the kids go to is the only non-home-based one available.  So our choices were a bit limited.

I hate how much daycare cost.  We are actually fortunate that our daycare costs less than many other places.  We pay $140 a week for Frog Face since he is younger and requires more one-on-one care, and we pay $120 a week for Goober.  That works out to around $1,100 or so a month.  We are blessed beyond belief that somehow God works it out every month that we just have enough money. 

I hate that I do miss a lot of their lives during the day.  By the time we get home it is close to 5:30 and then Frog Face starts to get tired and ready for our bedtime routine around 6:30.  And in that small one hour window we are trying to fix dinner and get everyone fed as well.  In my perfect world, I would love to keep the kid’s home half the day and then work the other half of the day.  Obviously not possible, but something I still dream about.

I hate not being able to raise my child the way I would like because of daycare restrictions.  For instance, as you probably have realized my kids have sleep issues.  At daycare all the babies nap in the swings.  They have cribs for each baby, but they let them all sleep in the swing because it is easier for them.  It’s not a battle I wish to fight, but it does frustrate me sometimes when we try to get Frog Face to nap in his crib and he doesn't like it.  They are good at respecting my wishes on the really important things though, like breast milk and delaying solids, potty training, and things like that.

I hate the daycare germs.  My kids are constantly sick because of all the diseases spreading around that place.  I feel like they do a good job cleaning and disinfecting, but kids will be kids so if they go to daycare they are going to get sick.  I am a pro at how to handle illnesses though.  I still hate the stomach flu and freak out a bit with vomit (although I am getting better with this) but after all the daycare germs, illnesses don’t bother me quite as much anymore.

Ultimately, daycare is not the evil I had thought it would be.  It really has been good for my kids and for us and I don’t regret our decision to put the children in daycare.  Goober has learned a lot and much of that is credited to the teaching she has learned at daycare.   She loves all her little friends and also loves her teachers.  Frog Face does great too.  He smiles and gets excited to see his care givers each morning.  But he gets more excited to see me when I come pick him up.  I am still his favorite person. 

And for that, I am grateful.

It was Pajama Day at daycare!  

Doing better with solids

First bath without a bath seat.  Such a big boy!  

Pajama Day at daycare!

I had a different dress picked out for her today for church, but apparently it wasn't good enough because she picked this one out for herself instead.